Baby Napped
by Horrorxxxgirl
Summary: Joxer's son has been kidnapped. The reason is not clear but he's being held in a castle, a well guarded castle. Joxer and his wife enlist the help of Autolycus to break in and save him. Based slightly on the episode The Key to the Kingdom. JoxerxOC
1. Chapter 1

p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:24.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""Careful!"/spanspan style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:  
Papyrus" she snapped, thrusting out an arm to stop her husband in his tracks. Joxer slammed into his wife's muscular arm. It was still hard to believe that Lyra was a mother. The mother of his child. She was so brash, specially when she was worried and right now, she had every right to be worried. "So, who are we waiting for?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""Autolycus," he said, showing his wife his best under pressure smile. Her husband was worried too. Not as worried, no man could ever be possibly as worried as a mother could be when their child had been kidnapped. "He's a brilliant thief."/span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus"They were in the courtyard of a small castle, the same castle Joxer knew that Autolycus wanted a jewel from. A ruby. Lyra shivered in the nipping breeze and he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close to his chest. Her husband could feel sobs rack her body as he rubbed her back./span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus"The window high up on the castle opened and someone sat on the sill. His wife wiped away her tears as she and Joxer hid in the shadows. Down from the window and dropping fast, fell a man. "Alley-oop!" he cried, landing not so clean. "Ooh, that gets harder every year!"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus"Autolycus, now on the ground, ran to shut the castle gate. He held the ruby up to his eye. Seeing no reason to fear Autolycus, stranger or not, Lyra stepped into the shadows. "Ooh, hello there, Lyra," Autolycus purred. He had once tried to have his way with her at a small tavern. "Hey, small world, huh? Ah, oh, you have business here?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus"She said nothing, making the thief anxious. "Everything seems to be closed. Yeah, say, how'd you like to grab a bite to eat? I know this great little place!" said Autolycus. "I promise! I won't touch! Look but don't touch. But you'll have to follow the same rules, sister."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""What are ya, stupid or a pervert!?" spat Lyra. "Joxer wants you to help us!?"/span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""Joxer?"/span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""It seems my little minx really opened up to you," said Joxer. "Lyria, sweetie, this is Autolycus, that brilliant thief I was telling you about."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""Sweetie? Why are you calling Lyria sweetie?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"span style="font-size:14.0pt;  
font-family:Papyrus""Because I'm his wife! And brilliant? Him? Ha!" hissed Lyra. "Joxer we need help not a silly comic relief."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size:14.0pt;font-family:Papyrus" /span"She's a little worked up," said Joxer, hooking his arm around Auto. "We got married two springs ago. And that's why we are here. We got a proposition for you."/p 


	2. The Plan

They came to a small tavern, a tavern that Autolycus guessed that Joxer and Lyra rented a room from. "You wanna bite to eat, Auto?" asked his friend. "Really good food here."

His guess was getting better. "Come on, come on, make yourself at home," she said. Autolycus's guess was being driven home. Right into the homestead of Auto being right!

The three sat down at a table. "So? What's all this about?"

Joxer's wife placed her hand on her husband's arm. "I don't know, darling," Lyra said. Sadness twinkled in her eyes. "I don't think we should tell him. I mean, there's no way he could help us."

Joxer the Mighty wrapped his arm around his wife. Joxer kissed her head before turning to face the thief. "We got a proposition for you," he said. "You ever heard of the Crown of Athena?"

"The Crown of Athena? Are you kidding?" asked Autolycus. "Who hasn't? I've been after it for years. The problem is Athena locked the crown away 20 years ago after King Cleades disappeared. You need some kind of key, but it's a closely guarded secret. So what's your two's interest in the crown?"

"The two greedy warlords who rule Thrasos, Ormenstin and Kryptos, kidnapped our daughter, Caliope," said Lyra, she blinked fast. Her thick eye lashes chasing away sorrowful tears. "They told us to bring them the key. We don't have a key! We have a key to our home! But that's it!"

"You guys don't live here?" asked Autolycus. Lyra burst into tears, Joxer taking his sobbing wife into his arms. Auto felt horrible for Lyra. Her first-born child was gone. "Are you two hoping I'd get around them? It's nearly impossible!"

"Auto, Caliope is only a couple of months old," said Joxer. "Joxer the Mighty tried…Autolycus! She just learned to say dada! We need your help!"

Auto rolled his eyes. Truth be told, he felt awful for the couple. "Now listen, you two. There's nothing I haven't been able to break into or out of. Except those damned Scythian double-latch locks," said Autolycus. "It's my plan or no plan, you got it?"

Lyra wiped her eyes. "What's your plan?"

Auto could tell Joxer was nervous about what would happen to Lyra. "Buddy, don't worry about your wife. With a body like Xena and brains like mine, there is definitely some possibilities here."

"Hey! That's my girl you're talking about!"

"Joxer, buddy, she can be anybody's girl. She doesn't have an ounce of loyalty. How she married you, is beyond me," said Auto. "Trust me, I know the type, I love the type."

"Hey! Lyra is different! She just worked at the tavern because…she woke up missing something…"

"Yeah. Me pressed right up against her."

"Look, Auto, get this through your thick, thieving skull, Lyra has had a hard life that I saved her from and we needs your help!" growled Joxer. He acted like a caged animal after being prodded a dozen times. "Now, I'm asking you as a friend, lay off of her!"

"You two are actually happy, aren't you?" asked Autolycus. "Don't you worry, little buddy, you're dealing with a man of honor."

"Good, I'm glad you're finally seeing things our way!" said Joxer.

"Fine, make yourself useful and go get some horses."


End file.
